What's a metaphor

I often feel like simply giving in and letting myself slide away from sanity, sidle up to that seductive hidey hole and crawl in to die.

This feels like the best course at the worst of times, and a pleasant diversion at the best.

Thus far I can see little reason not to, save that no one else seems to feel the same.

The last thing I need is another reason to be abnormal.

Or maybe the last thing I need is to worry about it.

I venture upstairs to find a flock of stoners toshing about. I have mixed feelings about this.

On the one hand, I long to be as they are, ignorant of the greater questions, and giggling incoherently at some slapstick Hollywood tripe.

On the other, I despise them for the ease of their existence. I always told myself I would be above them, smarter, more successful, and now I find myself on the verge of dropping down to their pace, following the path of menial labor at a job I loathe simply to stay afloat.

I know I could do better, I know I could have done better, but I can't drag myself from the comforting warmth of apathy and laze.

The work isn't what is killing me, nor the effort. It's the temptation to be less than I want battling the urge to do more than just be.

And now the only thing keeping me afloat *unfortunately, away from restful solace at that* is the blinking black bar on what I find to be one of my few useful respites.

Perhaps I'll slip into something more comfortable.

Il cartographo

One wonders, at this odd hour, how one can so oft arrive at it, clean-shaven and productive, whilst still managing to do so little that the rest of the world revels in. It true, that the evening hours are for a select few. The lovers, the fighters, the philosophers who rage against the daylight, and the proles who rage against the night.

The true midnight method, the darkest hour of deepest thought, oft arrived but seldom kept, and mostly malevolent in its means and ends. One must work harder to end its means then to become the paradigm of it's politik.

Digression helps very little in moonlit cartography, as it usually ends up leading to tangents unexplored in the topic untouched, but here I will try to be concise, not for lack of will nor lack of time, but for the purity of the thought.

One wonders, at this odd hour, how one can so oft arrive at it alone. One need not wonder, one simply need seek another evenoon evangelist and think to themselves, "What madness be this that there be method in it?" for the immediate response is now and forever shall be, "I'll have no part in a psychosis that is not my own, for ruling my own mind is one of the few boons still granted me in my madness, if only temporary during the light."

The laws of man

A simple concept, I'm sure, to those of us who have higher brain function to rival a toaster, or, gods be willing, even more intellectual capacity than your average household appliance.

Just because the law says it's legal/illegal, doesn't mean it's right.

I'm not talking about murder or theft or any of that tripe, I'm speaking about dealing with your personal issues. It does not do to be a complete fuckweasel just because you are not legally obligated to be a decent person. It does not do to do the bare minimum required of you to prevent swift and just punishment.

If you are being a useless fleshbag, or in any way hindering the pleasant operations of another human being, the law will not save you from being reprimanded. Do not bitch and moan about getting a lawyer when your pets leavings end up on your doorstep instead of your neighbors lawn. Do not cry about having your dishes "disappear" when you leave them on the counter for days at a time to rot. Do not assume that because the law says you can walk around in a speedo that you should.

People like that are the reason I'm such a cheery and loving individual. Seriously. Common sense should be enough to guide your everyday life. If you get confused about how long you need to wait to get your drivers license, or how much crack cocaine you can bring back across the border with you, then sure, check the books, but if the issue is so petty that a judge would be physically hurt by the thought of spending more than two words of his breath on your insipid argument then I say he has full right to tell you to sod off.

Don't be a douche bag. Don't be a leech, or at all a detriment. Don't be abrasive for the sake of being abrasive. Don't whine when you are punished for the above.

Deal with it like an adult, or move back with your parents. Whatever you want to do, just get the slag away from me with it before I resort to something highly illegal yet ultimately satisfying that may or may not involve a quart of zambuka and a match coming dangerously close to your pajamas.

Hier apparant

It becomes apparent, as I trudge on, that no matter how much I try to avoid it, I am a snarky, irreverent, and overall mean sarcastic person. Often, this is in a cruel way. It's not intentionally, that is, not intentionally hurtful. I am being critical, I am being mean, I am even being overly critical despite the fact that I recognize many of my peers mistakes as flaws I myself posses.

However, having said that, I am wholly unable to resist being as I am. I jump at every opportunity to be verbose and scathing. I salivate at the chance for a good argument, and rarely admit when I arm wrong. In short, I am a douche bag when it comes to issues I feel strongly about, or when I find someone to be doing something decidedly nonconstructive or even destructive to themselves or others.

I do not apologize, I am what I am, and I am damned useful in a forum, or even in a quiet discussion because I ensure that even if nothing is decided, new views are seen by all, myself included. I have no problem defending a view I find completely false if the only agent crying for that side of the story is less than confident or less than verbose with public speaking.

I believe in thought, that all sides of an argument should be explored, unbiased. I have the privilege of being part of an organization that controls a large part of many young mens lives, and I have never once stood before the council and said anything with the intention of changing the minds of my peers without addressing both sides of the conflict, in some small way. I refuse to allow simple dismissal of issues I know to be more complicated than black and white. It is a rare trait, I find. Not impartiality, I know several people goodly enough to possess a true lack of bias, albeit my friends tend to be the administrative and academic elite, at least when it comes to debate and organization. What I find rare is the willingness to step into another mans shoes and kick an overly zealous and underly appreciative rival in the shin.

It is a sad, sad thing when something so important as a vote of confidence can nearly be decided by one grating voice springing up in triumphant fury about an issue that, in the overall scope of the group, means about as much as a twelve year olds take on foreign policy, especially when that person goes unopposed and nearly brings the cause full circle for nothing but lack of informed voters in the rest of the group, or apathy, or even popularity and complacence.

But enough with the rambling, the point is this. One should never be afraid to stand up and fight for a cause, if for no other reason, than that they see injustice in it, even if they don't believe in it themselves. So long as you retain a high sense of honor, and you work towards the betterment of those involved, playing devils advocate can be the best gift to a divine resolution.

Faith

The most important thing to remember, even now at this critical juncture, is don't panic. Panic leads to irrational thought, to screaming and sweat, fear and loathing. Panic is the beginning of a series of bad paths. No good can come of it. Instead, simply abandon hope, know too that you cannot prevent this, and that it is best to take solace in the fact that you probably had a very good reason to jump the railing anyway.

Dig Dig, Chop Chop

Knowing full well the rewards associated with labor and study, it seems odd that one would still feel the unending drive to avoid such things. A drive to not only avoid the days work, but to spend the time set aside for it doing nothing at all. Lazing about watching television or pounding some other form of media dribble into ones skull rather than the equally mindless tasks facing them at work.

Why be mindless without reward? Is there some benefit I cannot comprehend to wasting time? Logically, there is nothing. Of course, what fun would the world be if everything worked logically.

One could argue that rest and relaxation can only be attained when one is not constrained by time and task, or that simple having "alone time" helps in rejuvenating the being mind and body. I say it's more likely due to a horrible urge towards wonky survival traits, wherein he who does the least and survives is, in theory, the most important, for he is made to do little to be of use to the tribe.

This is, of course, preposterous, as a vagrant may do nothing and survive, but there is something to be said in avoiding work to excess. Is the man with a penthouse full of furs really any happier than his proletariat counterpart whom derives his pleasure from lazing about on his couch watching his fun size television?

Probably, but for the sake of argument, one avoids that assumption. At least if one is in a position without a penthouse of furs. Now if you'll excuse me, I must drudge on to my own mindless task in a few hours, robbing me of my chance for late night meanderings if I want to maintain the last shred of sanity I've still got hold of.

I also need to replace the drivers side door on my Porsche.

I couldn't do it here

It's quite amazing, really, how much our society depends on a pairing of tiny copper wires. The thin strand that separates our society from savagery. The phone line, the electricity, even the piping under the building, but most of all, the internet. If any of these things are severed, a home becomes nothing but a primitive shell in the modern age.

It used to be that having an internet line to your house was a privilege and a luxury, now it is simply assumed, by both the educational faculty of society and the public at large. One is required to have an email, one is required to have connectivity, and most of all, one is expected to be able to google or wiki away the answers to all of life's little mysteries.

Thus is the great tragedy of the modern age, in terms of social interaction. All arguments are laid mute by wikipedia, all effort in communication dulled by email, and all pondering answered by the all knowing google. There is no mystery one can be expected not to solve on ones own. Everyone can safely assume that each other person has the same information about the same insipid topic.

However, this is not the real tragedy of the internet generation, for what knowledge could be said to be for ill. The real flaw is that a human being without a presence on the web is reduced, somehow. As a person without a high school education years ago, or a person without a Y chromosome years before.

It has become a norm, and one which seems quite acceptable to us all, that is, until we lose the norm itself. A challenge I place upon all human beings: go one week without consulting the web or your internet contacts. Go just one week without instant messengers or downloading media. See then how feral you feel, and know that once all is said and done, you'll not have to feel that way very often in the rest of your life.

Our society values the internet too much to let it be stifled by such trivial things as hardware and connectivity. Soon it will be indestructible, and then the populous will cry out in joy, each leeching their own version of Mork and Mindy whilst sipping their Joltang cola.

I suppose good things come to those who wait.

No, says the man in the Vatican

I have thought long and hard for many a year about the question of God. Always the answer seemed simple to me, and it still does. That is not what I threw into question tonight. What really and truly perturbed me this eve was the question of physical cues. Is it not a testament to societal evolution that we have developed some of the most ridiculous physical cues imaginable by simple survivalist views?

For instance, in what world would it be more beneficial for a mate to be thinner? Perhaps more fit, yes, but sickly thin? In what world does a different eye color make a difference to anything beyond social recognition? More importantly, in what modern world do any of these things make an honest to goodness difference, beyond the reaction based on upbringing in this vain and aesthetic society.

If we weren't raised to appreciate the thin, svelte stereotype, we would find it repulsive on a simple genetic level. If we were not raised to swoon over musicians and artists, and abhor the thug and the genius, would we still find them as preferable mates?

What of their effect on matters outside of the sexual realm. When does it seem better to have a woman who can barely walk from fatigue compared to one who may rear children as well as commit their share of physical labor? These are the ridiculous ideals that our society places upon it's members.

Surely we may see how these preferences evolved in society, and many of them may indeed be acceptable by modern practice. The petite woman is beautiful because she has not lost her humanity to the grand obesity of our time. The artist is beautiful because he tries to reach beyond the dull and often rough reaches of normal society.

But what does any of this have to do with the question of God, one wonders. It's simple; in what world with a deity meant to be omniscient and powerful would social evolution be required at all? In what world would the average be anything but the image of perfection? If we were all crafted in a godly image, that would mean that the average person was as close to perfect as humanly possible.

In our society which idolizes extremes and has an insatiable lust for the very fringe of fashion such a thing seems inconceivable.

That's not to say it couldn't be an intelligently ingrained desire to change and grow based on ever increasing standards until we force our own evolution down a path best suited to the then dominant society... But then, what truly intelligent being would bother leaving the fate of their creation to the whims of the rabble.